Archive for April 30th, 2012

Last week, I put a Cthulhu badge in the shape of a Jesus fish on the rear bumper of my car.  The next day, I got some groceries at Trader Joe’s and put the bags on the floor on the passenger side.  When I put the bags on the kitchen counter I discovered that the bottoms of the bags were crawling with baby spiders, dozens of them.  I assumed I had brought them in from TJ’s somehow, and I killed them all.  The next day, I stopped at a different store on the way home and again, placed the bag on the passenger side floor.  Got home, put the bag on the counter, and again discovered dozens of lively baby spiders. Killed all of the little fuckers.   I looked everywhere in the car, pulled up the floor mat, excavated under the seats.  I found plenty of half-empty water bottles, a nice selection of discarded junk mail, a single white sock, and a small handful of lint-fuzzed fast food French fries, but no spidery egg sacs and no baby spiders.

So I guess I called and the Elder Gods listened, opening up an interdimensional rift on the floor of my car for the first loathsome wave of Delieverance from Beyond, but I showed myself to be neither worthy nor ready.  Maybe next time.

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